Guilty.

You see it on the news and read it in the paper.  Assault, addiction, abuse, rape, trauma, murder, stabbing and the list goes on.  You are generally not affected unless it hits close, your neighborhood, your friends or your family.  You may sigh and think "Gosh I can't imagine" or "That is horrible" and go about your day unchanged, never giving it another fleeting thought during your busy day.

My life changed when it walked through the doors of the ER.

I saw it, I felt it, I touched it, I heard it, I relived it, it became REAL to me.

It shook my world.

From the first glance I am struck with nausea.  A nausea like I have never felt before.  The kind I keep trying to swallow down to avoid the inevitable.  The kind that doubles me over but won't come out.

The tears well up in my eyes, my vision goes blurry.  I keep blinking so I can see.  I don't want to see, but I have to, I have no choice it's in front of me.

I look around and see the horror on the other's faces, we try to hide it but it's there.

The stoic lifelessness in her face is bone chilling.

"Separate yourself, this is not your child."

But it's impossible, I can't.

I lock glances with her.

I can sense her terror and her fear.

Her eyes are empty.

An emptiness so real and so raw.

Ripped from her little grasp she was brutally robbed of innocence.

Lying there in a heap, clutching her doll and a blanket to cover her wounds.

So frail.

So broken.  

So tired.

"WHY GOD"?

I cry out and wrestle with the feelings of REVENGE.

I want JUSTICE. 

But it's not mine to take it's HIS.

I feel it, I feel the EVIL of the world.

My hands have been dirtied by the blood of an innocent victim.

AND I AM GUILTY.

So GUILTY.


GUILTY of wanting to pretend it doesn't happen in my neighborhood, my town.

We lock our doors and we lock our hearts.

We are comfortable.

We are safe.

We are ignorant.


We need to get out from behind our t.v. screens, our internet and our ipads.

We need to stop hiding behind the walls of the church.

We need to get away from our selfish addictions and step out the front door.

We need to get our hands dirty with the hurt of the world to warrant a desire for change.

Because I am here to attest that it is REAL.

It does happen in your town and in your community.

It happens everywhere and we need to WAKE UP.

Be the LIGHT that this world so desperately needs.

Be the GOSPEL to the many who won't read it.

Be the PERSON whom God made you to be right where he put you.

And due it all unto HIM because HE is the ONLY HOPE I can see.